Baby's first sports bar

Blue 32 to watch a KU game with Papa and Gigi, of course!

Ladies who happy hour

Tonight Ellie got all gussied up in her fancy sweater and headband for her first girls night! We love hanging with Aunt Lindsay!

7 week selfie

Stop growing. Please?

7 weeks!

Our emotions go from A to Z very quickly these days, as evidenced by the photos. 

This girl. She never fails to make me smile. 

A morning "tradition"...

...and not a fun one. On Friday morning, I fed Ellie around 6:30 am and then set her back in her rock and play so mommy could get a little more sleep. She fell right back to sleep. Around 7:30, I heard a startling noise that immediately raised my mommy hackles. I looked over at E and she was literally choking, it appeared on spit up. I grabbed her, flipped her over, and patted her back like we were showed in our infant CPR class, and she started crying (which was the best noise I've ever heard). But she kept going in and out of choking - it was like the spit up was stuck and wouldn't move. Brad grabbed the bulb syringe and we used it in her mouth like we did when she was first born, and used the nasal aspirator as well. What came out was essentially stringy saliva, which was why it was so hard to get rid of. I'm sure the whole ordeal from start to finish was only about 5 minutes, but it.was.terrifying. I refused to put her back down, so she spent the next couple of hours on my chest.

Needless to say, that night, I was nervous to put her to bed, but we made it through the night without incident. Saturday morning, Brad was still sleeping and I got up to changer her diaper. Halfway through the diaper change, it happened again. Unfortunately, I had taken her dirty diaper off, but had yet to get a fresh one on or wipe the poop that was on her bum. I grabbed her off the table, flipped her over, and calmly but firmly asked Brad for some help. He told me later my tone was so calm it freaked him out. He came tearing around the corner of the bed, slipping but hopping right back up asking what he could do. As he was getting out of bed, Ellie decided it was a perfect time to start to pee, and so as he's asking what he can do, I'm getting peed on and it's going all over the carpet. I remark on this, and so Brad, in his half awake stupor puts his hands out to try to catch the liquid that's falling to the floor. I am half laughing, and since Ellie has started to calm down, I asked him for a wipe, as my hands were cradling a poopy butt. Still half asleep, he starts to run out the bedroom door, presumably headed for her nursery. Again I start laughing, as there are wipes directly behind me on her changing table. We got cleaned up, the choking was under control, and we proceeded to laugh for the rest of the day about how Brad tried to catch pee.

Fortunately, we survived Sunday without another episode. Fingers crossed this was only a two day tradition.

Six weeks postpartum musings

As I got up in the middle of the night tonight (for what feels like the millionth time) to feed you, I was overcome with emotion. Here it was, 6 weeks from the day you were born. I had my postpartum appointment today, and with my doctor's simple "everything looks great!" and wave goodbye, it feels like a chapter has closed. No more appointments on the horizon that have anything to do with what we experienced together six weeks ago. It feels like we've been pushed out of the nest - officially on our own in the world. 

So much has changed in six short weeks; they've been the longest and shortest of my life. And absolutely nothing, no book, no conversation with a mommy friend, no witty blogger, could have prepared me for what I went through physically or emotionally. 

If I'm being perfectly honest, I didn't feel this crazy strong connection to you right away. They say that's normal, but being the person I am, I was sure I'd be an emotional head over heels wreck the second they put you in my arms. And while of course I was emotional and loved every inch of you, all the sudden there was a person in my arms who I had never met. I knew what your kicks and hiccups felt like, but I didn't really know you at all. It felt that way for the first handful of weeks, actually. I have loved and nurtured you, fed you from my body and worried about you every second of every day, but it's only been in the last couple of weeks that it hit me, and hit hard. 

The connection is there and holy cow is it strong. All the cliches about "mother bear" and a "mother's love" suddenly ring so true. I love you with a passion so fierce, it's frightening. Every fiber of my being feels for you. The emotional wreck that I thought I would be on December 9 at 6:49 am, I am now and even more so.

When you finished eating I put you on my shoulder to burp you like always. Only tonight, after one good burp, you laid right there on my shoulder and CUDDLED, breathed softly and rhythmically, and fell asleep. You hadn't really done that before. Maybe you knew that's what I needed. And so I did the only thing I could do. Instead of putting you down in your rock and play so I could go back to sleep like a smart mom would, I cuddled you right back, held your tiny, perfect hand, and cried. Tears of joy at how far we've come, tears of mourning that you've changed so much so quickly knowing I'll never see you this small again, but mostly tears of utter bliss that I get to have this moment here with you while the rest of the world sleeps (and your dad snores softly next to us). After all, my sleep will return; your six week old snuggles won't. 

Thank you, Eleanor Claire. Thank you for choosing me to be your mom. 

the 6 week wiggles

6 weeks!

Inaugural Ergo Wear

Took a walk with dad and Penny - she loved it!!

Happy after milkies

5 weeks!

Too tired to be five weeks old

Try to wake me up, I'll knock you out, lady!

Do you think she's hungry?

Cracking.Up.

One month stats

A whole month old! Eleanor had her one month appointment and everything is looking good! A few tidbits below:

As of 1/9/15...
Weight: 8 pounds 10 ounces (almost three pounds over her weight when we left the hospital!), 30%
Height: 22 inches, 76%
Loves: mirror by her changing table, car seat, stroller, walks, sound of the shower and blow dryer, her rock n play and swing
Hates: baths
Doesn't mind: tummy time or clothes or diaper changes
Size: mostly in 0-3 but still fits into a handful of newborn things (they're comfy in the girth, getting tight in the length)

-Still a very chill baby
-She's a strong girl - lots of great neck control already!
-Starting to smile and focus more
-Has slept a 4 hour stretch at night!
-She's a spit up QUEEN
-Still sleeping in her rock n play next to mom, but has taken 2 naps in her crib

Dad's favorite things about Ellie: 
Her tiny loud quick yell that comes out of nowhere
Snuggles
Watching Ellie and Mommy bond when Ellie eats "it's really beautiful"

Mom's favorite things about Ellie:
Streeetchers! She stretches SO BIG with her legs curled up and her arms over her head
How she rubs my arm/stomach/etc while feeding

Uh, guys? Should I do something? Or just let her cry?

4 weeks!

AH!

You again?

Weird...

Get me outta here!

A different kinds of New Year's Eve

This proved to be our most mellow NYE to date, but we wouldn't have had it any other way. A lovely dinner cooked by daddy, a glass of bubbly, and a snuggly baby. Not too shabby :)