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| Bedtime the night before I left |
Well, I did it. I was beyond anxious, but on August 21 I left Ellie for the weekend. She was in the capable hands of B and Grammy Martha, but man it's hard to leave that first time. Fortunately, I was headed somewhere very fun - to celebrate my best friend's upcoming wedding with a bachelorette weekend in Nashville. We had a fabulous time - lots of drinks, pool time, and laughter.
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| I was on a plane with headphones and coffee! |
I will be completely honest that I wasn't giving the weekend my 100% attention, but I think I was 97% present, so I'm calling that a win. It's incredibly tough to be gone while still breastfeeding. It wasn't a challenge on the home end, as I've got enough milk stored in the freezer to get us through the apocalypse, but it's a big challenge on the vacation end. That's also a big part of the reason it was hard to be completely present - I had to stop whatever I was doing every 4 hours or so and pump. Thankfully I was around a lot of my good friends, and those I didn't know well were moms themselves so everyone understood. But trying to think through what you're going to be doing over the course of a day and when you should pump to make sure you don't get yourself somewhere where you're hurting and don't have access to your pump is a challenge. Obviously there wasn't a thing I could do about it, so I just rolled with it. And now I know I can do if necessary.
I will also say that everyone I shared my mommy anxiety with said I'd come back feeling so refreshed, and again, being honest, I didn't. Because I couldn't quite unplug from what was going on at home, I didn't really feel 100% at peace until I was squeezing my precious baby girl again. Hopefully this gets easier each time you do it, but as of now I have NO plans to leave her again any time soon.
As for E, she had an absolutely WONDERFUL time with her Grammy. She was doted on, sung to, snuggled, and loved to pieces, which makes a mommy so very happy. The sweet three even went to lunch in Scottsdale Quarter! She didn't miss me one bit, which of course make me the slightest bit sad, but I know it's a great thing. And three cheers to B who celebrated a daddy milestone - first weekend without mom around. He is such a champ and an amazing dad - E and I are lucky, lucky girls.
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| I could have squeezed her forever. |
I will be completely honest that I wasn't giving the weekend my 100% attention, but I think I was 97% present, so I'm calling that a win. It's incredibly tough to be gone while still breastfeeding. It wasn't a challenge on the home end, as I've got enough milk stored in the freezer to get us through the apocalypse, but it's a big challenge on the vacation end. That's also a big part of the reason it was hard to be completely present - I had to stop whatever I was doing every 4 hours or so and pump. Thankfully I was around a lot of my good friends, and those I didn't know well were moms themselves so everyone understood. But trying to think through what you're going to be doing over the course of a day and when you should pump to make sure you don't get yourself somewhere where you're hurting and don't have access to your pump is a challenge. Obviously there wasn't a thing I could do about it, so I just rolled with it. And now I know I can do if necessary.
As for E, she had an absolutely WONDERFUL time with her Grammy. She was doted on, sung to, snuggled, and loved to pieces, which makes a mommy so very happy. The sweet three even went to lunch in Scottsdale Quarter! She didn't miss me one bit, which of course make me the slightest bit sad, but I know it's a great thing. And three cheers to B who celebrated a daddy milestone - first weekend without mom around. He is such a champ and an amazing dad - E and I are lucky, lucky girls.
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