A full flipper

I have yet to see it in person, but we have what I'm calling a full flipper. I'll put her on her back to sleep, within minutes she's on her tummy, and then just in the last few days I'll randomly look at the monitor mid-nap and she's back on her back. 

We're knocking on mobility's door! 

Getting it all done

I will admit I have already fallen prey to this on numerous occasions. Something about being a stay at home mom makes me feel like I HAVE TO GET IT ALL DONE. If I'm not leaving the house to go to a paying job, I should be able to manage my child and house in a way that when my husband comes home, things are (at least somewhat) in order.

In my head I know this is unrealistic. I know there are outside factors at play sometimes making it impossible to get it all done (one, actually - her name is Eleanor). But it's still easy to listen to those asshole little voices that creep in and tell you that you should be able to pull it together. (These are the same asshole voices that creep in at the most inopportune times to make us feel inferior for some reason or another. I know we all have them, so why hasn't someone figured out how to get rid of those jerks?!)

Now most days I can squelch the voices - frankly a lot of days they don't even dare show their hideous faces (do voices have faces? I digress). And for the record, most days I do manage to keep things somewhat in order. (Not because I feel I have to, but because a picked up house makes me breathe easier.)

But on the days I don't, all it takes is looking at the amazingly breathtaking child that I get to call mine to realize that I'm doing just fine. So the laundry is sitting in the dryer, slowly wrinkling to the point of no return? I threw a kitchen dance party and made my baby giggle. So clean dishes have been in the dishwasher for a full 24 hours needing to be unloaded, leaving the sink full of crusty plates from last nights dinner? We took a long walk, soaking in the last of spring's cool breezes, dreamily smiling at each other as we strolled through the park. 

These are the things I will remember when my 4 month old is 14, not that the sheets and towels were many times long overdue for a change. 

This is my beautiful, messy, brilliant life, and I love it. I won't hide it because there's no reason to. 

But on the days when I feel like I am failing at having it all together, I will read the article below. Because it's a beautifully written reminder that I am, in fact, getting it all done, and doing a damn fine job.
http://www.amothershipdown.com/2015/03/20/to-the-moms-who-dont-feel-like-they-can-get-it-all-done/

Books - check 'em out!

Amazon was having a HUGE kids book sale a couple of weeks back and I am geeking out over the few I snagged for around 80%off! They were all sold out when I ordered, but Amazon honored the sale price and shipped as they came back in stock. Yay for reading!!

19 weeks!

Showing our Mizzou pride (and looking pretty darn adorable) in our 19 week photo - thanks to Grammy and Grampy for the onesie!

One year ago today...

This happened. It's still hard to comprehend what a miracle our sweet baby girl is. 

Agony, thy name is norovirus

So after an eventful 2 days getting Ellie nursed back to health, Team Kiesling had another health adventure. 

I woke up to feed Ellie around 3 am early Friday morning, and noticed my stomach felt weird - kind of hurt but hard to describe. Brad left for work at his normal time, and by 10 am, I was balled up on the sofa praying E would stay entertained on her playmat because I barely had enough energy to lift her. I called Brad, relayed the situation, and he very kindly moved his schedule around so he could be home and I could be in bed. 

It's now almost 9 pm on Saturday, and I'm finally starting to feel better after needing both ends on the toilet for the last 36 hours. I've been sustaining on a diet of ginger ale, pedialyte, and saltines, and have been praying that's enough to keep my milk supply up. 

Getting sick while having a baby, a baby you're exclusively breastfeeding no less, is no walk in the park. A huge thank you to B for picking up all the slack the last two days. Needless to say, we're ready for our normal back. 

One of the photos I received while I was up in bed and B was on full time daddy duty :)

Scottsdale Shea Healthcare Frequent Flyers

Baby girl got her 4 month vaccines yesterday, and after her mild reaction to the 2 month vaccines (low grade fever and fussiness), I was ready for a similar reaction. I was not quite ready, however, for the vaccines to affect her completely differently this time around.

Last night around 6 pm, she got VERY tired and went down to bed around 7:15 without the slightest struggle. This all seemed like a normal reaction, until around 9 pm, when we watched her on the video monitor heave and throw up three times. Brad managed to clean it up while she stayed asleep in her crib, and she proceeded to sleep a 10 hour stretch. Normally, this would thrill me, but it seemed odd given her recent middle of the night wake-ups.

Throughout the day today, she was awake for a total of maybe 2 hours. She was SO TIRED, even sleeping through feedings (and she is a very consistent every three hours eater), and just not her talkative, happy, sassy self. When I did manage to get her to eat at two different times today, she threw up. Like, THREW UP. Like, covering sofa cushions, multiple burp cloths, her onesie and pants, pooling in mom's t-shirt, etc etc etc. Exorcist style throw up.

I finally called the pediatrician just to confirm all of these reactions were normal, and the triage nurse asked when she last peed in her diaper. I realized she had not peed since some point in the middle of last night, and it was 1 pm (and babies are supposed to pee around once an hour). She suggested pedialyte, which I got and slowly fed her. While I was feeding it to her she was trying so hard to get to the boob (likely because she'd hardly eaten all day and was probably starving), so I gave in and fed her a little bit (rookie mommy mistake). After that feeding produced another massive throw up I made the executive decision to head to the ER to make sure we got some fluids in her STAT. A potentially very dehydrated baby was not something I was willing to ride out.

A few hours later we were home with a peanut who had consumed 4 ounces of pedialyte, taken some zofran for her nausea, and managed to keep some breastmilk down. I felt reassured by the pediatric ER doc who confirmed that with no pee for that long, bringing her in was the safe things to do.

Never a dull moment with our little girl who Lindsay so aptly pointed out seems to have a flair for the dramatic. We're ready to start collecting points at Scottsdale Shea as we feel like frequent flyers. But even with all the points in the world, I'm okay NEVER needing to go back.

PS: I'm pretty sure this sign exists for dads and dads alone. Take Ellie's dad, for example, who, as I pointed out the sign to him, had a glove balloon waving in Ellie's face. He looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar; he slowly deflated the balloon, and threw it away. We laughed for a solid 5 minutes. 

18 weeks!

Check out that FAN!

Look at that Buddha belly!

EDIBLE.

New perspective

I have always been someone who had the TV on. All the time. Even if I wasn't watching it, I needed the background noise. I never understood how anyone, especially someone home with a baby/kid could keep the TV off all day. Wouldn't you get bored? Wouldn't the quiet drive you crazy?

I get it now. Oh, do I get it. And my poor TV must be SO confused. 

Holy sleep regression

Oh my goodness. I'd heard of this dreaded 4 month sleep regression, and I hoped and prayed this would skip over my child. I was not so lucky.

We were on a roll of sleeping 10, 11 hour stretches at night, and then, with a few days until her official 4 month birthday, it hit. Big time. It was like someone turned a switch and my peaceful sleeper went from slumbering all night to waking up SCREAMING every couple of hours. It was worse than when she was first born. The worst of it was definitely the first couple of nights, and we've slowly scaled back the nighttime craziness. However, we've now reverted back to one solid, no questions asked nighttime wake up and feed.

Part of me wishes she'd never slept those long 10 hour nights, because once your body gets a taste of long stretches of sleep, going back the other way is SO HARD. I feel like a walking zombie.

Fortunately, she's still napping okay, and the best news is that usually she takes a solid 2 hour nap almost immediately after she "wakes up" for the day around 6 am. Which means mommy gets to go back to bed, too. This is making our mornings far less productive than they could be, but at this point, I'll take what sleep I can get.

I talked with her pediatrician about this at her 4 month check up, and he said it's perfectly normal and the fact that she's only waking up once in the night (even though she wasn't waking up at all) is really very good. I'm counting my blessings, because I know it could be worse.

In the meantime, please don't judge the bags under my eyes and the lack of make up, because right now, I just don't care. Lauren is my name and coffee is my game.

Just because it makes me smile

E all ready to head out on a walk last week :)

She rolled!!!

We have a roller! Sweet baby girl rolled three times in her afternoon nap today - I got photos post roll #2, and got a video of roll #3.

This rolling, while so exciting, has also brought a new challenge: bedtime. Now, the second she is placed on her back, she flips to her tummy, where she's not yet all that comfortable. After flipping her back to her back a handful of times, it was clear that wasn't going to work if I want to sleep tonight. So instead I sat in her room for about an hour singing to her and rubbing her back while she was on her tummy to hopefully get her more comfortable in that position. (It also gave me some peace of mind to know she's capable of keeping her head to the side.)

All you hear from the time that baby comes out is always put them on their backs - tummy sleeping is a SIDS risk. I know, however, that once she's strong enough to roll, she should be strong and alert enough to sense if and when she needs to re-position while on her tummy. I have a feeling tonight will be a long one for me - I don't anticipate sleeping much both because she will likely be waking confused as to why she's in her tummy, and because I will wake up to check in her about 106 times.

Sigh. So proud of my strong girl, and terrified all at the same time. I have a feeling this won't be the last time I feel this mix of emotions.

Go daddy!

E and I got to go to an event with B tonight called Dine with your Dog. He spoke representing PetSmart, and did a fabulous job! Bonus was that E only fussed a little bit - overall a huge success!

SO close

E is so close to rolling over!

Baby class

I took Eleanor to Gymboree for a music and play class today and it was an absolute success! They allow a trial class before committing, and we wanted to see what it was all about. A bunch of babies had just transitioned to the next level (as they became mobile), so we got a private class which was pretty fun. Lots of sensory play, lots of songs, and great mommy/baby bonding. What a fun 45 minutes!! We followed class with more mommy/baby bonding - a lunch date. Such a fabulous Friday!

4 months!

Eleanor Claire is 4 months old!
There have been significant changes between months 3 and 4, definitely the most changing she's done so far. Her little personality is starting to develop, she's full of smiles, coos, and energy, she rolls over and sits up in her little seat, and is really starting to soak in the world around her. We get tons of comments when we're out and about about how good she is (which, for the most part, she really is) and how beautiful her eyes are (which I completely agree with). She's a bit of a drama queen (I believe they call this karma), and definitely knows when you're not paying attention to her but she feels you should be.
Some stats and what's making her special these days below:

As of 4/9/15...
Weight: 13 pounds exactly, 29%
Height: 25 inches, 74%
Head Circumference: 39 1/2, 10%
Loves: fans, lights, being sung to, silly faces and noises, baths, mornings (whoever gets to see her face first in the morning definitely wins)

Hates: being tired and overstimulated - both guaranteed to make her cry
Doesn't mind: her new seat, tummy time, clothes/diaper changes, going to daycare at the gym (she usually ends up falling asleep in a swing there)
Size: still wearing mostly 0-3 with some 3-6 month clothes fitting. Graduated to size 2 diapers a day before her 4 month birthday, but really she needs a 1.5 - the 2s are still a bit too big and the 1s are a bit too small.

-Strong girl - even the pediatrician commented on it!
-Officially in her crib, even for most naps
-A side and tummy sleeper
-Grasping things with two hands and then putting almost everything in her mouth
-Drool machine
-Developed a witching hour, usually starting between 5 and 6 pm

Dad's favorite things about Ellie:
1. Her big, deep, happy coo
2. When she nestles in your neck
3. How happy she is in the mornings

Mom's favorite things about Ellie:
1. Bedtime routine - it's so relaxing and she's starting to get what's going on
2. Our "chats", singing, smiling and giggling
3. Watching her soak in the world - it's incredible to see the world through her eyes
4. How even in a room full of people she will lock eyes with me

17 Weeks and a fun new toy!

Sweet baby E turned 17 weeks yesterday,
and to celebrate we purchased her first chair to work on sitting up. I was BLOWN AWAY at how well she did right off the bat! She was getting hungry, so the timing wasn't great for an inaugural use, but she liked it so much, it distracted her from her hangries for about 15 minutes! She's getting bigger and stronger by the day and it makes me so happy and proud. Every time I look at her newest roll or her newest chin (I think we have three now), I feel this amazing sense of pride that I, from my body, have been able to nourish her to that state. It's equal parts bizarre and incredible, and frankly, indescribable. (Video of her first time in the chair below :)

Baby Must Haves, Months 0-3

I started a list awhile back of things that, looking back, I couldn't have lived without the first three months of Ellie's life. I'll try to keep this up for the first year - I'm hoping stuff like this will be helpful to have recorded for round 2 someday. 

Top 10 Baby Must Haves, Months 0-3

1. Rock n' Play

2. Travel system car seat/stroller

3. BOB stroller

4. Ergo 360

5. Cloth bibs. LOTS.

6. Bulb syringe (to clear spit up) and nose frida

7. Swing

8. Honest Company organic healing balm (we have YET to have a diaper rash and I'm convinced it's b/c of this stuff!)

9. Burp cloths. LOTS.

10. Sound machine or sound machine app

Top 10 Baby Nice to Haves, Months 0-3

1. Aden and Anais swaddle blankets, a few

2. Well fitting socks

3. Mustela facial cloths and no rinse wash

4. Baby bathtub

5. Nursing cover

6. Bottle warmer

7. Paci clips

8. Pacis in a variety of nipple types 

9. Kimono onesies

10. Baby mittens

Baby's first Easter

We celebrated our first Easter as a family of 3 - the Easter bunny came to visit, we had a fabulous home cooked meal with Uncle Andy, and Facetimed with Grammy and Grampy. Thanks to Mimi, G&G, and uncle Drew & aunt Kasie for sending sweet Easter gifts for Ellie (which were put in her basket!). 

The new date night

And it's pretty fabulous.  Bless you, child, for being a tiny that sleeps. 

Who needs a professional...

...when you have Uncle Evan in the house! Some impromptu photo shoots took place while E was in town a few weeks ago, and the results are AMAZING. It's so wonderful to have these moments captured so beautifully.
A link to the photos is here and my faves are posted below.

Are you lookin' at me?

Big milestone

I know it's good for both of us, but why does leaving her have to be so hard??

E had her first childcare experience while mommy enjoyed her first day back at the gym. Of course she was awesome - when I went to pick her up she was snoozing away in a swing, happy as can be. But wow, leaving her with someone else is so unbelievably hard. I know it's important for her to be around other babies and to learn how to be held by someone other than me, and I know it's equally important for me to get some quality time sweating out the stress and getting back in shape. I don't think there will ever be a day, though, that a tiny piece of my heart won't hurt when I drop her off. 

We BOTH survived! 

A family affair

It's official - we're all side sleepers.